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Anne Dyken General Education Instructor Academic Support Center Instructor Phone: 715.342-3132 Email: anne.dyken@mstc.edu |
About Me
Embarrassing trivia: Can’t parallel park, can never remember what 8 + 5 equals, didn’t know my real first name until the first day of kindergarten, own a Dolly Parton cassette tape, bought my car (a Ford Focus) because the salesman knew the plural of “Focus” is “Foci.”
Spend too much money on: pets, books, coffee mugs, music
Don’t spend enough money on: haircuts, manicures
Spend too much time: reading, writing, doodling on meeting agendas, teaching Dachshunds to jump through Hula Hoops
Don’t spend enough time: cleaning, shopping
Pets: Four horses, two dogs, three cats, no time
Can be bribed with: Cheetos, strong coffee, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, fancy writing instruments
Favorite
movies: Out of Africa,
One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest,
Favorite
books: The Once and
Future King, Beach Music, All Creatures Great and Small,
Life of Pi
Favorite Literary Character: Pippi Longstocking
Favorite Muppet: Grover
Favorite smells: baking bread, apple orchards, Lilies of the Valley, WD-40
Favorite dog breed: Irish Wolfhound, but settling for Dachshunds right now
Will never: Get a tattoo, attend a professional sporting event, go to Disneyland
Will always: Welcome the end of summer and beginning of autumn
TOP TEN WAYS TO ANNOY
YOUR WRITTEN COMMUNICATION INSTRUCTOR
10. Refuse to learn to word process, and say things like “My Underwood manual typewriter was good enough for Miss Thistlebottom in 1968; it’s good enough for this teacher, too.”
9. Re-hash your old high school term papers, speeches, and stories, and hand them with a big smile.
8. Ask her if, since you’re doing a paper on something totally unrelated in your Economics or Psychology course, you couldn’t hand that in as your Written Communication research paper as well!
7. Write your first draft in the handwriting of a serial killer, out in the parking lot, in the front seat of your pick-up truck while eating a Chalupa and listening to the radio. For that extra sparkle, have “Jake” leave smeary paw prints all over it.
6. Spy your teacher eating lunch in the lounge and yell to her from the hallway, “Are we doing anything in class today?”
5. Bump into your teacher as she’s coming out of the ladies’ room and hand in your paper that was due two weeks ago. Later, wonder why your paper wasn’t returned along with the rest of the students’.
4. Ask, “Will I have to know about verbs and pronouns and crap for the final exam?”
3. Eight days before the end of the semester, decide you DO want to pass the course after all, and dump a pile of past-due assignments on her desk just as she’s leaving on a Friday afternoon. Ask, “Is it too late to hand this stuff in?”
2. Experiment with cool fonts. Hand in your ten-page, single-spaced semester research paper in eight-point “Chiller” or “Jokerman” fonts.
1. When you
receive a low grade, pout and say “I don’t understand. I always got A’s on my papers in high school.”
What I Do With Late Research Papers
